Subject: Communication (Page 16)

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.

(1908 – 1965) American broadcast journalist & newscaster
Communication Intelligence Speech Wisdom World

I think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Insults Speech

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech Time

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003… President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Books Communication Reading/Writing

No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

They speak all the languages of the rainbow here.

Scottish auto racer
Communication Language Misspokements

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Situations Things

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

The wise man has long ears and a short tongue.

Communication Proverbs Speech

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know why.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

There are very few people at the Fringe these days doing Roman-numeral jokes; I is one.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

I never give the public hell; I just tell the truth and they think it is hell.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics Communication Speech

Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

A lot of people are very critical of modern reproductive processes without understanding all the ins and outs.

(1940 – ) English professor, medical doctor, scientist & politician
Sex Wordplay