Subject: Communication (Page 16)

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Speech

What a good thing Adam had; when he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Books Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Conversation Men People Speech Sports Women

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Problems Situations Wordplay

I was reading a book… The History of Glue – I couldn't put it down.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Communication Computers Things

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Communication Death Misspokements Speech Time

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

I don't speak Chinese, but I figure if I try, I've got to be saying something.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor, comedian, author & radio personality
Baseball Communication Language

And don't use conjunctions to start sentences.

Communication Language Reading/Writing

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

I deserve respect for the things I did not do.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication Friends People Wordplay

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Age Characteristics Reading/Writing

I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism; and I have a communications degree.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Communication Misspokements