Subject: Communication (Page 3)

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Language

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good – we want it Tuesday.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Who remembers when X Factor was just Roman suncream?

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

English As She is Spoke

Book Titles Communication Language

I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

An intelligent person can make a dumber statement than an idiot. The idiot is limited to his imbecility.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

There are two great rules of life: 1. Never tell everything at once.

(1931 – ) American golfer & broadcaster
Communication Life Misspokements Speech

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Communication Definitions Speech

My friend has a baby; I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Books Communication Health Reading/Writing

On the other hand… you have different fingers.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Communication Language

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Intelligence Wisdom

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment

Throwing acid is wrong… in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

I wasn’t allowed to speak while my husband was alive, and since he’s gone no one has been able to shut me up.

(1885 – 1966) American actress & gossip columnist
Communication Speech