Subject: Communication (Page 31)

Write drunk; edit sober.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Happiness Misspokements Speech

Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

He makes his living from ham to mouth.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Communication Reading/Writing Wordplay

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Conversation Speech

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language People

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Communication Computers Things

Everything has been said but not everyone has said it.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Speech

The New York Times is read by the people who run the country; the Washington Post is read by the people who think they run the country; the National Enquirer is read by the people who think Elvis is alive and running the country…

entrepreneur, software engineer & game programmer
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

comedian
Communication Marriage Speech

To avoid misunderstanding, I’ll stop speaking formal English and just use the binocular.

Communication Language Malaprops

I learned about sex the hard way… from books.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Sex

I hate to spread rumors, but what else can one do with them?

French model, singer, lyricist, painter, television presenter & actress
Communication

American Language: English run over by a musical comedy.

Communication Definitions

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Definitions Occupations

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict War Wordplay

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech