Subject: Communication (Page 31)

I made a comment to a newspaper about therapists saying that people should not become dependent on them and it got printed as, "The rapists say . . . "

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication

I was a young lad living under a poker table with a chip on my shoulder.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.

Wordplay

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter; some day I intend reading it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Reviews/Criticism

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports Wordplay

Oratory: The art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.

Communication Definitions Speech

If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Art Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

American comedian
Communication Wordplay

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Communication Education Language Learning Places

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Communication Problems Speech

Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

I stayed in a really old hotel last night; they sent me a wake-up letter.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations

Fiction writing is great; you can make up almost anything.

(1949 – ) ex-wife of cretin Donald Trump
Communication Reading/Writing

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Communication Emotions Entertainment Laughter

Everything has been said but not everyone has said it.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Speech

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Conversation Speech

He who shouts loudest has the floor.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Communication Emotions Love Speech

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning.

Communication Definitions Language

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time