Subject: Communication (Page 50)

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind; close it and you're right back at the beginning.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today… unfortunately, it’s only for victims.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

I have read your book and much like it.

(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator
Books Reviews/Criticism

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Communication

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Communication People Self Speech

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Wordplay

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Problems

Definition: A statement intended to put a word in its place.

Communication Definitions Language

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Money Speech

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions

I wonder what the word for dots looks like in Braille.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Intelligence Wisdom

There is no thief like a bad book.

Books Communication Proverbs Reading/Writing

Colin had his neck brace fitted years ago and since then he’s never looked back.


Communication Things Wordplay

When they were naming the animals somebody got lazy… whats he doing?… eating ants… DONE!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals Language

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

comedian
Communication Food/Drink Language

I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her well.

(1905 – 1977) American actress
Communication People

I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Activities Communication Speech

I like quoting Einstein… because nobody dares contradict you.


Communication

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech