Subject: Communication (Page 73)

Avant-garde? … That’s French for bullshit.

(1940 – 1980) English rock musician, singer & songwriter
Communication Language

When I hear a baby, I always write down the noises he makes, so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Family

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

Beliefs Communication

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

I never thought you could win a Pulitzer just for quoting Tommy Lasorda correctly.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Communication People Reading/Writing Self Sports

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.

Communication Language Proverbs

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

(1906 – 1992) American computer programmer & inventor of COBOL
Characteristics Communication

In school I wanted to join the debating team… but someone talked me out of it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Everybody had some antidotes to tell.

Malaprops Speech

Lawyer: One who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Government Language Lawyers

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops

It‘s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication Language

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Communication Money

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Democracy Language Speech

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Appearance Body Books Communication People Reading/Writing Women

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny…’

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Communication Science/Weather Speech

1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Communication History People Reading/Writing Time Women