Subject: Communication (Page 74)

A politician is a man who approaches every question with an open mouth.

(1770 – 1827) British statesman, politician & prime minister
Communication Government Politicians Speech

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Reading/Writing

No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Religion Speech

As soon as you dispose of a book, even one that has gathered dust for years, a pressing need to refer to it will arise.

Books Murphy’s Laws Time

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict War Wordplay

The penis mightier than the sword.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Wordplay

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.

baseball player
Communication Misspokements Reading/Writing

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Animals Communication Conversation Speech

Holland lies so low they're only saved by being dammed.

(1799 – 1845) English writer
Communication Language Places

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.

(1902 – 1991) Polish Jewish American author
Communication Lies Occupations Reading/Writing Work

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places Speech

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Communication Problems Speech

Dave drowned; so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt; well, it’s what he would have wanted.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

‘Finger Puppet’ sounds OK as a noun.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Don't use no double negatives.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Wordplay