Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 12)

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed: She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Communication Death Last words Wordplay

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things Wordplay

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Life Wordplay

Just seen the grave of the woman from My Fair Lady… it says ‘Here lies a Doolittle’.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste; when I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Wordplay

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports Wordplay

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication Wordplay

I have Bright's Disease… and he has mine.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Health Wordplay

I think if you were hardcore anti-feminism, surely you wouldn’t call yourself ‘anti-feminism’ would you? … you’d call yourself ‘Uncle Feminism’.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

director I spent four years in college but I didn’t learn a thing; i was really my own fault… I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.

(1979 – ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Communication Education Wordplay

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I believe in the right to arm bears.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Beliefs Opinion Wordplay

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

comedian, writer & editor
Communication Wordplay