Subject: Conflict (Page 4)

[My husband] and I are always fighting; when we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Conflict Marriage Problems

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice; for ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Communication Family Fathers Killing Mothers Speech

Murder is a crime – describing murder is not; sex is not a crime – describing sex is.

(1917 – 1999) American sexologist
Communication Conflict Crime Language Reading/Writing

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Conflict New York City Places

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Crime Government Law

All humor is based on hostility – that’s why World War II was funny.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Conflict Emotions War

Shoplifter Who Soiled Clothes Fails to Wipe Record Clean

Crime Headlines

Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reasonable versus the jerks.

(1966 – ) entrepreneur, founder of Wikipedia
Beliefs Conflict Fights

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

Go to L.A. – they got gangbangers that will stab you, and then go to the corner and wait for the light to turn green.

American stand-up comedian
Conflict People Places

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Conflict War

The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that its against the law.

Crime Place Names

Last week North Korea publicly admitted for the first time it has nuclear weapons; the Bush administration has so far shown very little concern, as the North Korean missiles are believed only capable of reaching the Blue States.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Conflict

It's possible to disagree with someone about the ethics of non-violence without wanting to kick his face in.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Conflict Fights

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

On the downside, it's loaded with sexual predators; on the plus side, it's also loaded with sexual prey.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Crime Science/Weather Sex

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.

(1933 – ) American comic actor, director, screenwriter & author
Conflict Killing TV/Movie Quotes

If you are going to have a fight with a visiting club, be sure to insult them the day they come to town, and not the last day of the series. It pays off better.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Conflict Fights Sports

When your back is against the wall, there is only one thing to do, and that is turn around and fight.

(1943 – ) British prime minister & politician
Conflict Fights Misspokements