Subject: Death (Page 14)

Gonna be incrimated… they’re gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Death Malaprops

I hope they bury me near a straight man.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Emotions

Never drive at night.

(1834 - 1902) American manufacturer
Last words

Okay, Father. I'll pray that you don't follow me too soon.

(1920 – 1945) only American soldier to be court martialed and executed for desertion during World War II
Last words

Some sad news from Australia… the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Death

Guns don't kill people; it's those bullets ripping through the body.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Arms Conflict Death

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government Politicians

You’ve got to execute people; how else are they going to learn?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Government Law

I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast! Let her rip!

(1863 – 1901) American cowboy & train robber
Last words

You got me.

(1903 – 1934) American bank robber & convicted murderer
Last words

If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be living.

comedian
Communication Death Health Language

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table's ready."

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Things

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

Immortality – a fate worse than death.


Death Life

A king should die standing.

(1755 – 1824) King of France
Last words

Cheerio

(c.1902 – 1941) British gangster
Last words

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

(1961 – ) American actress
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I’ll never die in my sleep… I don’t sleep that well.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Activities Death Sleep

Enough already.

(1915 – 2004) American novelist
Last words

I want that 50 bucks you owe me now, and I mean now.

Carl Switzer (1927 – 1959) American actor
Death Last words