Subject: Death (Page 27)

Some sad news from Australia… the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

(1925 – 2005) television host

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

(1961 – ) American actress

How many people died from the Kama Sutra, as opposed to the Bible?

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

I want that 50 bucks you owe me now, and I mean now.

Carl Switzer (1927 – 1959) American actor

I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return.

(1907 – 1954) Mexican painter

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian

If my dead father was alive to hear that, it would kill him.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.

(? – 1963) convicted murderer

'Hey Death – is that a sickle in your hand or are you just glad to see me?'

American comedian

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

I believe in reincarnation, so I’ve left all my money to myself.

(1943 – ) English disc jockey

Oh that press will have me now!

(1809 – 1892) Poet Laureate of the United Kingdom

Death: To stop sinning suddenly.

Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.

(1873 – 1956) English poet, short story writer & novelist

You sons of bitches, give my love to Mother!

(1912 - 1932) American convicted murderer & career criminal

My work is done, why wait?

(1854 – 1932) American innovator & founder of Eastman Kodak

Death is a wonderful way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Wait a second.

(1721 – 1764) member of the French court & mistress of Louis XV

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist