Subject: Definitions (Page 51)

View All Definitions

Egotism: An anesthetic that nature gives to a man to deaden the pain of being a darn fool.

Definitions

Borrower: A man who tries to live within your means.

Definitions

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions

Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People Women

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

Babysitter: One who accepts hush money.

Definitions

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.

Definitions

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Foreword: An author’s apology.

Books Definitions

Bridge: A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking.

Activities Definitions Games

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

Fortune teller: Séance fiction.

Definitions

Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Thinking