Subject: Definitions (Page 71)

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Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

Fiddler: A violinist before he becomes the virtuoso.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.

Definitions Intelligence

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Doctors Health

Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Definitions

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Creditor: A man who has a better memory than a debtor.

Definitions

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Wig: A convertible top.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Resolute: Obstinate in a course that we approve.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

Average Man: A person who doesn’t want much, and usually gets a little less than that.

Definitions People

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Fountain pen: A writing instrument that works marvelously in the store.

Definitions Things

Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon.

Definitions