Subject: Definitions (Page 9)

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Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

Cross-Eyed Teacher: A teacher that loses control over his or her pupils.

Definitions

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Dictator: One who thinks he can take it – no matter to whom it belongs.

Definitions

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.

Activities Definitions

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Law

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Definitions Health

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Dentist: man who lives from hand to mouth.

Definitions Occupations

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.

Definitions Money

Philanthropist: One who returns to the people publicly what he steals from them privately.

Definitions People

Budget: A schedule for going into debt systematically.

Definitions

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Definitions Marriage

Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can’t believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I’m still hungry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Definitions Occupations