Subject: Education » School (Page 6)

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Education School

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive
Education Football School Sports

I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Education School

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian
Education School

Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? … That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.”

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education People School Sports

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

(1980 – ) cartoonist
Education School Things

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School Time

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School