Subject: Emotions » Happiness (Page 2)

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy: first, let her think she's having her own way, and second, let her have it.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

My wife and I were happy for twenty years… before we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

I can’t do two things at once; I can’t have intercourse and enjoy myself at the same time.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic

There must be one day above all others in each life that is the happiest

Corollary: What if you’ve already had it?

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer

When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer