Subject: Emotions (Page 5)

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic

Love and eggs are best when they are fresh.

Love and marriage go together like angel cake and anthrax.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

(1956 – ) American cartoonist & author

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… but I laugh more.

Racism is so stupid; there’s more than enough reasons to dislike people on an individual basis.

(1952 – ) American political satirist

It's better to have loved and lost, then have to live with that bitch for the rest of my life.

comedian

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I saw a twinkle in her eye I have not seen since the neighbor children discovered our new electric fence.

(1959 – ) American actor

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, but it sure heats up the blood.

(1939 – ) American actress

By all means, marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

(469 BC – 399) BC Greek philosopher

You don’t know what love is ’til you become a parent and fish a turd out of the bathtub for someone, then have to act positive about it.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog; few people are interested and the frog dies as a result.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the post long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

What pleases men most is old wine and young women.

(c. 484 BC – c. 425 BC) Greek historian

The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist