Subject: Entertainment (Page 20)

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Memory Television

Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Art Entertainment Money

I'm not an actor, and I enclose met press cuttings to prove it.

(1915 – 1999) American stage, film & television actor
Acting Occupations Work

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are still in the cat.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Cats Entertainment Music

Kind of like the difference between making love and masturbation, I’d say.

(1946 – ) American actress & activist
Acting Entertainment

Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Applause is a receipt, not a note of demand.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist
Entertainment

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Entertainment Television

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Film

It resembles a tortoise shell cat having a fit in a plate of tomatoes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Art Reviews/Criticism

He must have made it before he died.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Entertainment Yogi-isms

[Art is] the reasoned derangement of the senses.

(1905 – 1982) American poet, translator & critical essayist
Art Entertainment

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Entertainment Television

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author
Entertainment Television

The only proof of taste Beckford has shown with his collection is getting rid of it.

(1778 – 1830) English writer, essayist, critic, grammarian & philosopher
Art Insults

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music Occupations Work

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Emotions Entertainment God

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
America Places Television

Photograph: A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art Definitions Things

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Entertainment People Places