Subject: Family » Children (Page 13)

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Clothing Family Health

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family People Self

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child; we can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Animals Children Dogs Family

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Money People

Giving away baby clothes and nursery furniture is a major cause of pregnancy.

novelist & travel writer
Children Family Situations

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family

Can I Sit on Your Lap While You’re Pooping?

Book Titles Children

A balanced meal is whatever stays on the spoon en route to a baby’s mouth.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Children Family Food/Drink

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia; let them walk to school like I did!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Books Children Yogi-isms

Enough is never enough.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations

Baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

(1888 – 1957) English priest & theologian
Children Family

You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Children Dogs Family People Rednecks

With Photoshop so readily available, there’s no reason ever to have a party for a two-year-old.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Children Family Situations

Many children threaten at times to run away from home — this is the only thing that keeps many parents going.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Parents

I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women; now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Children Family

Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods:
1.Just about to cry 2. Crying 3. Just finished crying.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Children Family

There is no reciprocity; men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.

Anna Haycraft (1932 – 2005) English writer & essayist
Children Emotions Love Men Women

You don’t have favorites among your children but you do have allies.

(1975 – ) British novelist
Children Family

You kids are disgusting! Standing around here all day, reeking of popcorn and lollipops.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children TV/Movie Quotes

Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us

Children

Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

Children Definitions Family