Subject: Food/Drink (Page 39)

I don’t like dogs… keep getting mustard on my catcher’s mitt.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

I’m a postmodern vegetarian… I eat meat ironically.

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Appearance Emotions Food/Drink

The last time I drank, I drove into a ditch, which doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but I stopped at the ditch, looked left and right, then drove into the ditch.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Autos Driving Situations

If a piece of buttered toast falls, it will land face down.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I drink to make other people interesting.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink

His [Ben Affleck's] ideal woman is a stripper with a Budweiser in each hand.

(1972 – ) American actress
Beer People Women

It was actually easier for me to become a vegetarian – you know, quitting meat – because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of meat.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Activities Drugs Eating Food/Drink

I shouldn’t tell jokes about my wife. She’s attached to a machine that keeps her alive… the refrigerator.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Health

Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slip-cover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer
Communication Food/Drink Reading/Writing

They didn't hesitate: Wendy's, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, and Burger King.

Denver Bronco team nutritionist
Food/Drink Football Sports

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers… they are obviously alcoholics.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Food/Drink Places Politicians

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Eating Food/Drink

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Cooking Food/Drink

There are three reasons for breastfeeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can’t get it.

(1935 – ) London-born American author & food commentator
Family Food/Drink Mothers

What’d you say, Norm?

Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer

I asked the barmaid for a quickie; the man next to me said, 'It's pronounced quiche.'


Communication Food/Drink Places Speech

I like eating Black Forest ham because it sounds like I had to kill a troll to get it.

comedian
Food/Drink

I never eat in a restaurant that’s over a hundred feet off the ground and won’t stand still.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink