Subject: Food/Drink (Page 8)

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I was a vegetarian until I found myself starting to lean toward the sunlight.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Eating Food/Drink

On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana, it’s just the opposite; green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the heck did you get that banana?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Alcohol Food/Drink

Wine makes a man better pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Alcohol Food/Drink

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew; I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon… and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

Health food makes me sick.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink Health

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?

Going Down?

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer

Dinah [Shore] formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Old People

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Cooking Food/Drink Malaprops

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Food/Drink People

My mother was the worst cook ever; in school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Clothing Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren’t drinkin’ aren’t hittin’.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

I think they should put the wrapper of a straw on the inside because that is the part you don't want to get dirty.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Things

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.

(1949 – ) American actor & environmentalist
Food/Drink Health Insults Places