Subject: Government » Law (Page 4)

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? … if they don’t know their rights, they shouldn’t be in the business.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government Law Marriage Wives

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

Convicted criminal: As God is my judge – I am innocent.

Birkett: He isn’t; I am, and you’re not!

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Government Law

We shouldn’t have to be burdened with all the technicalities that come up from time to time with shrewd, smart lawyers interpreting what the laws or what the Constitution may or may not say.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Law Lawyers Misspokements

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Law Things

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

Judge: Mr Smith, you must not direct the jury. What do you suppose I am on the bench for?

Smith: It is not for me, your honour, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Law Occupations Work

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws Time

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Government Law

When the [Supreme] Court moved to Washington in 1800, it was provided with no books, which probably accounts for the high quality of early opinions.

(1892 – 1954) U.S. Attorney General & Supreme Court justice
Government Law

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government Law Lawyers

Judge: Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?

Mae West: On the contrary, Your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Law

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Government Law Lawyers Murphy’s Laws Time