Subject: Government (Page 42)

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

Judge: Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?

Mae West: On the contrary, Your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Law

Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government Politicians

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game; you want us to pay income taxes, too?

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Government Taxes

People don’t start wars, governments do.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Conflict Government War

Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

Military Murphy’s Laws

A wise man once said, “Never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.”

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Politics

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Situations

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Government Law

When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long

Military Murphy’s Laws

Reality Has A Well-Known Liberal Bias

Politics

I learned in business that you had to be very careful when you told somebody that’s working for you to do something, because the chances were very high he’d do it; in government, you don’t have to worry about that.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics Government Occupations People Work

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs Government Politics

The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

I need money… I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Wealth

What a liberal wants is to bring about change which will not in any way endanger his position.

(1941 – 1998) Trinidadian-American and prominent figure in the Civil Rights Movement
Beliefs Government

Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same color clothing.

(1939 – 2000) American actor
Military TV/Movie Quotes

Traffic congestion increases in proportion to the length of time the street is supervised by a traffic control officer.

Autos Government Murphy’s Laws

Convicted criminal: As God is my judge – I am innocent.

Birkett: He isn’t; I am, and you’re not!

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Government Law