Subject: Government (Page 42)

Whatever organization we try to create, it always ends up looking like the Communist Party.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Government Places

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President

Often times people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government President

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets — unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel… then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Government Military Television

Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for lunch.

Democracy Government

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Government Intelligence People Reading/Writing

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government

What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who’s played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Acting Entertainment Government Insults

Bureaucrats are the only people in the world who can say absolutely nothing and mean it.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Government

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

TSA agents look like they would have a hard enough time protecting their lunch money.

American comedian
Government

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Politicians

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Government

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Politicians

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places