Subject: Government » Politicians

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government Politicians Work

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats; I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

(1810 – 1861) Italian political figure
Government Politicians

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

The statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Politicians

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Intelligence Memory Politicians

Politicians are wedded to the truth, but like many other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Characteristics Government Honesty Marriage Politicians Truth

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Government Insults Politicians

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication Intelligence Politicians

Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.

(1901 – 1986) diplomat & economist
Government Politicians

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politicians

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

Many of these guys on death row have done heinous things, but when we as a people sink to their level and execute them, then we’re no better than Republicans.

American comedian & writer
Death Government Politicians

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Government People Politicians

Mondale’s Offensive Looks Hard to Beat

Headlines Politicians

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Government People Places Politicians

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government Lawyers Politicians Situations

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
Entertainment Government Politicians