Subject: Health (Page 14)

Did God who gave us flowers and trees

Also provide the allergies?

(1898 – 1981) American song lyricist
Health

After looking at the bill for my operation, I understand why doctors wear masks in the operating room.

Doctors Health

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Food/Drink Health

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School

A dyslexic man walks into a bra…

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Health

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Health People

Hospitals Resort To Hiring Doctors

Doctors Headlines

I’m even in denial about the fact that I’m in therapy; I’ve just convinced myself there’s a friend that I see once a week, and then I lend her $90, and she never pays me back.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Health Situations

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Health Wives

Psychiatrist to patient: You’re suffering from paranoia… anyone’ll tell you.

(1928 – ) English cartoonist
Health

The more boring and out-of-date the magazines in the waiting room, the longer you will have to wait for your scheduled appointment.

Health Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Time

Down Home Gynecology

Book Titles Health

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them… well, it's killing me!

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Activities Health

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Health Life

He was recently diagnosed with prostrate cancer.

Health Malaprops

The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Health

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Doctors Health Work

If you don’t have a bad back by the time you’re 60, then you haven’t done anything in your life.

baseball manager
Health Work

I fainted last night… luckily I was going to bed at the time so I didn't get hurt.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Health Situations