Subject: Insults (Page 16)

If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Insults Intelligence

You’re like the Ernest Hemingway of bullshit.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Insults

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Insults

Say what you will, when Dan Quayle was in the National Guard, not one Viet Cong got past Muncie, Indiana.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Insults

Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.

(1938 – ) political commentator, author, columnist, politician & broadcaster
Insults Intelligence Politics

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Failure Insults Problems

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

A huge pendulum attached to a small clock

(1855 – 1942) Russian critic & lecturer
Insults

You may have genius; the contrary is, of course, probable.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Insults Intelligence

Play us a medley of your hit.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment Insults Music

Relations are a tedious lot of people who don’t know how to live or when to die.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults Relationships

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death Insults Occupations People Work

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults Intelligence

Come on in, Frank… make yourself at home – hit somebody.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

She [Roseanne] actually had ‘Property of Tom Arnold’ tattooed on her hip, which made me the fourth largest property owner in California.

(1959 – ) American actor & comedian
Insults

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth – or anywhere else.

(1902 – 1986) English-American actress
Appearance Insults

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Insults Speech

You can always reason with a German… you can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Appearance Body Insults

A buxom milkmaid reminiscent of a cow wearing a girdle, and both have the same amount of acting talent.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults

I could never understand what Sir Godfrey Tearle saw in Jill Bennett, until I saw her at the Caprice eating corn on the cob.

(1913 – 1991) Australian actress
Insults Sex