Subject: Insults (Page 18)

It is not necessary to have relatives in Kansas City to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Family Insults Places Relationships

I asked the Scottish Football Association if San Marino was a republic or a principality; they said it was a technicality.

Scottish football commentator
Insults Places

[Adlai] Stevenson was a man who could never make up his mind… whether he had to go to the bathroom or not.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Insults

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws

The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Communication Insults Language Reading/Writing

The boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Insults Opinion

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.

(1910 – 1973) American comedian
Insults

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.

college football coach
Animals Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

Nothing but old fags and cabbage-stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.

(1885 – 1930) English novelist, poet, playwright, essayist, literary critic & painter
Communication Insults

What you don't know would make a good book.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Insults Intelligence

He looks like a dwarf who’s been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Insults

He’s the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Frugal Insults Money

Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Insults

Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Appearance Insults

It's a pity you didn't have a little more brandy; it might have made you more agreeable!

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

One could not even dignify him with the name of a stuffed shirt; he was simply a hole on the air.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Communication Insults

His [Ted Cruz’s] face looks like the entire movie Dick Tracy pushed together.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Insults