Subject: Insults (Page 31)

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults

They couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you… he really is an idiot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

He is a servant of humanity… who had done really brilliant work in isolating fees.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health Insults

I've had them both, and I don't think much of either.

(1903 – 1979) British actress, theatre director & author
Insults Sex

I crap bigger than you!

(1919 – 2006) American actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.

(1909 – 1976) American lyricist, songwriter & singer
Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism

Barbara and I celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary yesterday… we are very happy, but I would be happier if she got a job!

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults Marriage Self

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Failure Insults Problems

[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Insults Reading/Writing

Scorsese was our director; he had phone books under his ass so he could see the actors.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

Nothing trivial, I hope.

(1839 – 1919) Irish writer
Health Insults

The finest woman that ever walked the streets.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

He walked as if he had fouled his small clothes and looks as if he smelt it.

(1722 – 1771) English poet
Insults

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

For God's sake, go and tell that young man to take that Rockingham tea service out of his tights.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Insults

He was humane but not human.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Insults

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Insults

He has so much brain and so little beauty.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Insults

He looks like the guy in a science fiction movie who is the first to see the “Creature."

(1933 – 2011) American comedian, imitator of famous political figures
Insults

When I want to play with a prick, I’ll play with my own.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Insults