Subject: Insults (Page 40)

One of the nicest old ladies I ever met.

(1897-1962) American writer
Insults

He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Insults

Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a brain is better than a Democrat with two.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults Politicians

Relations are a tedious lot of people who don’t know how to live or when to die.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults Relationships

The boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

Robins: I've just written my 87th book.
Barbara Cartland: I've written 145.
Robins: Oh I see, one a year.

(1897 – 1985) British novelist
Age Insults Old

When his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults

A great actress, from the waist down.

(1848 – 1935) English actress
Acting Insults

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Death Insults

His style has the desperate jauntiness of an orchestra fiddling away for dear life on a sinking ship.

(1895 – 1972) writer and literary & social critic
Insults

A sheep in sheep’s clothing.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Insults

[George] Bernard Shaw has discovered himself, and gave ungrudgingly of his discovery to the world.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Insults

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat Insults

A glorified bandmaster.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Insults Music

He doesn't die his hair – he's just prematurely orange.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Appearance Hair Insults

A man who can lighten a room by leaving it.

Insults

I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

He's a Republican housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Characteristics Insults

Australia's gift to insomniacs; it's nothing but the blonde singing the bland.

(1947 – 1979) American singer
Entertainment Insults Music