Subject: Intelligence (Page 45)

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Activities Fools Intelligence

American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

I know this music from memory, not from the music.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Memory Misspokements Music

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Military Murphy’s Laws Understanding

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Understanding

A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Insults Intelligence

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

A child of five would understand this; send someone to fetch a child of five.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family Intelligence Understanding

People ask stupid questions for a reason.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Marriage Memory Sex

There are only two problems with people: One is that they don't think; The other is that they do.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems Thinking

I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.

(1853 – 1890) Dutch painter
Intelligence Mind

I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Intelligence Memory

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Intelligence Stupidity

This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.  There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Intelligence People

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

author
Alcohol Food/Drink Intelligence

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

My father was stupid; he worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Intelligence Situations Stupidity