Subject: Intelligence (Page 8)

1. If the facts are against you, argue the law. 2. If the law is against you, argue the facts. 3. If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

Government Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.

(1897 – 1982) French writer
Fools Intelligence Time Wisdom

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fools Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wives

You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Individuals Intelligence Memory People

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Characteristics Intelligence Situations Understanding

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Intelligence People Stupidity

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Intelligence People

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence People Thinking

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Communication Thinking

A loaded wagon makes no noise.

Intelligence Wisdom

If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

When someone you greatly admire and respect appears to be thinking deep thoughts, they are probably thinking about lunch.

Food/Drink Intelligence People Thinking

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Characteristics Intelligence Situations

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Entertainment Intelligence Television

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what man does with what happens to him.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
History Intelligence

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults Intelligence

Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.

(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of The Simpsons
Insults Intelligence