Subject: Life (Page 16)

Life is strange; every so often a good man wins.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? … in that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Life is like a dogsled team; if you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

Life is a terminal disease.

Probably the toughest time in anyone’s life is when you have to murder a loved one because they’re the devil.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Living in a vacuum sucks.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist

There is no safety in numbers… or in anything else.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

I’m tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol

People who live in glass houses might as well answer the door.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is a tale told by an idiot – full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet

They were living high on the cob.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer

Sam: How’s life in the fast lane?

Norm: Beats me, I can’t find the on ramp.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Life is not separate from death; it only looks that way.

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Only in our dreams are we free; the rest of the time we need wages.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author