Subject: Life (Page 5)

It is not the years in your life that count, it is the life in your years.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer – not a book.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

To me life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Life is an incurable condition: the only known treatment is to try to keep the patient comfortable.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Life is strange; every so often a good man wins.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

I've got to get out of this rut and back in the groove.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

Life is a terminal disease.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer

You only live once, and the way I live, once is enough.

(1915 – 1998) American singer & actor

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

(1925 – 2005) television host

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Have fun; and go home when you’re tired.

(1887 – 1995) American theater produce, director & playwright, screenwriter & film director

If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it!

(1925 – 2013) comedian & actor

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

(1874 – 1963) American poet