Subject: Life (Page 8)

You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

(1927 – 1989) Scottish psychiatrist

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

Have fun; and go home when you’re tired.

(1887 – 1995) American theater produce, director & playwright, screenwriter & film director

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade… then find someone who’s life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

There are three things in life that people like to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire and a Zamboni clearing the ice.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist

Anybody who tells you that life is brief hasn’t been to motor vehicles recently.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Life is a long lesson in humility.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.

(1928 – 1982) American novelist, short story writer & essayist

Some of the most well-trodden roads lead nowhere.

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

(1889 – 1977) English comedian, actor & film director

Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

‘Pessimist’ is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

(1894 – 1985) British fiction writer

We just had a near – life experience!

(1962 – ) writer & journalist

I try to live by the adage: “You scratch my back; I’ll let you know when to stop.”

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer