Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 4)

I'm so hungry I could eat my elbows.

Miscellaneous

A face like a cobbler’s thumb

Miscellaneous

Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past… one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.

(1930 – 2007) English comedian & nightclub owner
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

Miscellaneous

My Granpappy Don’ Smoke No Grass

Miscellaneous

He’s so slippery he’d hold his own in a pond full of eels.

Miscellaneous

Right as rain.

Miscellaneous

The only contact I ever made with the dead was when I spoke to a journalist from The Sun.

(Steven Patrick Morrissey) (1959 – ) British singer & lyricist
Communication Miscellaneous

Most people don’t realize that two large pieces of coral painted brown and attached to the skull with common wood screws can make a child look like a deer.

Miscellaneous

It’s funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then you look at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you’ll do whatever anybody tells you to.

Miscellaneous

Don't get your tit in a ringer!

Miscellaneous

Dumber than a barrel of hair

Miscellaneous

Jack: We are lovers.

Liz: That word bums me out unless it’s between the words “meat” and “pizza”.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

Miscellaneous

Grace the table.

Miscellaneous

One bad thing about Lassie, she was always warning you about something; let me be surprised for a change.

Miscellaneous

Hornier than a two pecker'd billy goat on a hill full of ninnies.

Miscellaneous

Sunday face

Miscellaneous

I was born on a Friday, but not last Friday.

Miscellaneous

There was probably an old Viking saying that said, “Ax in the head, early to bed; ax in the helmet, a friend of Helmut.”

Miscellaneous

Doesn’t have a pot to piss in

Miscellaneous