Subject: Money (Page 10)

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Intelligence Money

Bargain: anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Shopping

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

If you want to know what God thinks of money, you only have to look at those to whom he gives it.

(1874 – 1945) English writer, translator & war correspondent
Beliefs God Money

They live in a beautiful apartment overlooking their rent.

Money Situations Things

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Communication Money

Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language Money

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

You can't get rich in politics unless you are a crook.


Government Money Politics Wealth

Low Wages Said Key To Poverty

Headlines Money

It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, as long as you’ve got money.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Money

The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Money

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace, which I think is fine, cause if we didn’t make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Marriage Money People Women

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Fools Intelligence Money People

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

We didn't actually overspend our budget; the allocation simply fell short of our expenditure.

Money