Subject: Money (Page 20)

If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens.

boxing writer & sports historian
Auto racing Money Sports

The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money

It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Poverty Wealth

Every crowd has a silver lining.

(1810 – 1891) American politician, showman & businessman
Money People

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

(1918 – ) American advice columnist
Money Wealth

I tell ya, it’s tough to save a buck. Right now I’m supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Money

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Death Doctors Health Money

My sister just got married; I was the maid of debt in that little event.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Marriage Money Relationships

Money… was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Money Sex

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body Clothing Money

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Telephone psychics are better at making fortunes than at reading them.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money People

They were living high on the cob.

Life Malaprops Money

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.


Activities Emotions Happiness Money Shopping