Subject: Money (Page 32)

Anybody who plays the stock market not as an insider is like a man buying cows in the moonlight.

(1797 – 1879) American businessman & speculator
Activities Money

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

No project was ever completed on time and within budget.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

I saw a truck today. Side of the door it said, “Driver has no cash” … I’m broke, too – but I don’t plaster it all over the side of my car.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Money Poverty

After what happened to my 401k, my new retirement plan is the Rapture.

American comedian
Money

Only have a nervous breakdown if you’ve got loads of money, and then you can really enjoy it.

(1955 – ) English composer, singer, songwriter & producer
Health Money Situations

Exceptions prove the rule… and wreck the budget.

Money Murphy’s Laws

(Starbucks) doesn't have a slogan yet, so I thought of one for them: “It's really expensive, but the line is long.”

comedian & author
Money

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Boxing Money Sports Wordplay

Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Money

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Money Situations

When you pass the buck, don't ask for change.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Money Situations

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places

It's possible to spend money anywhere in the world if you put your mind to it, something I proved conclusively by running up huge debts in Cincinnati.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Money Places Sports

No gold-digging for me… I take diamonds!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Money Situations

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence Money

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Emotions Love Money People Women

The poor and ignorant will continue to lie and steal as long as the rich and educated show them how.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Money People Poverty Wealth

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

Americans are getting stronger; twenty years ago it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries… today, a five-year-old can do it.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Money