Subject: Money (Page 5)

There's many a pessimist who got that way by financing an optimist.

Characteristics Money

The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Money

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Money

I (don’t) want anything ostentatious, no matter what it costs.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Characteristics Money

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is… the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money People

Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney.

(1918 – 2006) American writer
Money Success Work

By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Money Taxes

The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Money

When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay, but here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Health Money

The only thing I like about rich people is their money.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Money People Wealth

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

When it comes to paying, he’s the first to put his hand in his pocket… and leave it there.

Frugal Money

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money Situations

Invest in inflation… it’s the only thing going up.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Money

If the guy was poor, I’d give it back.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Poverty Yogi-isms

If you want to know what God thinks of money, you only have to look at those to whom he gives it.

(1874 – 1945) English writer, translator & war correspondent
Beliefs God Money

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

American entrepreneur & author
Autos Money Things