Subject: Money (Page 9)

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician

What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

cartoon character in, The Simpsons (Harry Shearer)

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

(1870 – 1916) British writer

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Free advice is worth the price.

businessman

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

He was so cheap, for example, that when Mary asked for diamonds for her birthday he bought her two of them… the eight and the queen.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

[It’s] hard to become a billionaire in public office… legally, anyway.

(1928 – 2019) American business magnate a&d financier

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist

Everything takes more time and money.

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist

Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host

You can make a killing in the theatre, but not a living.

Girls just want to have funds.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

I bought a million lottery tickets… I won a dollar.


Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.