Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 15)

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Richman's Inevitables of Parenthood IV

Children Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Only at the start/re-start of a DIY job do you realise the need to return to your toolbox/shed to retrieve another tool.

Oliver's Tool Rule Part 1

Murphy’s Laws Things Time Toolbox

Space expands to house the people to perform the work that Congress creates.

Washington's Law

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws

Successful research attracts the bigger grant which makes further research impossible.

Parkinson's Law of Medical Research

Murphy’s Laws Research grants

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Repairman's Laws

Murphy’s Laws Things Work Distance Tools

Whenever someone you know, or someone you do business with, moves to a new location, it’s always farther away.

Springer’s Law

Murphy’s Laws People Sherwood Springer

1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon. 2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react. 3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.

Dennis's Principles of Management by Crisis

Murphy’s Laws Problems Crises Management

If you don't need it and don't want it you can have tons of it.

Murphy's Law of Supply

Murphy’s Laws Supply

A malfunctioning car will stop displaying symptoms of imminent breakdown when driven to within one-quarter mile of a garage.

Rawson’s Third Law

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things (Hugh Rawson)

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Proverb

Murphy’s Laws Proverbs Sleep Snoring

As soon as you sit down with a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Owen's Law for Secretaries

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Bosses

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure.

Segal's Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Time Watches

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School Exams

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Lerman's Law of Technology

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Bad habits will cancel out good ones. Example: The orange juice and granola you had for breakfast will be canceled out by the cigarette you smoked on the way to work and the candy bar you just bought.

Law of Balance

Murphy’s Laws Habits

1 + 1 hardly ever equals 2.

Murphy’s Formulation

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 15)

The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility, and vice versa.

Halitosis is better than no breath at all.

The public is always wrong.

The easier it is to do the harder it is to change.

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can get done sometime next week.

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Only at the start/re-start of a DIY job do you realise the need to return to your toolbox/shed to retrieve another tool.

Space expands to house the people to perform the work that Congress creates.

Successful research attracts the bigger grant which makes further research impossible.

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Whenever someone you know, or someone you do business with, moves to a new location, it’s always farther away.

1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon. 2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react. 3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.

If you don't need it and don't want it you can have tons of it.

A malfunctioning car will stop displaying symptoms of imminent breakdown when driven to within one-quarter mile of a garage.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

As soon as you sit down with a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure.

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Bad habits will cancel out good ones. Example: The orange juice and granola you had for breakfast will be canceled out by the cigarette you smoked on the way to work and the candy bar you just bought.

1 + 1 hardly ever equals 2.