Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 24)

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

Murphy's Fifth Law for Husbands

Appearance Body Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping Gifts Size

Design flaws travel in groups.

Fifth Law of Design

Murphy’s Laws Design flaws

A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.

Houde's Rumination

Murphy’s Laws Heroes Martyrs

‘Push’ is the force exerted upon the door marked PULL.

Filson's Law

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Force

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Horner's Five Thumb Postulate

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Equipment Experience

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs – but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

Issawi's Law of Frustration

Murphy’s Laws Eggs Omelettes

The sun always shines between the visors.

Backlund’s Automotive Constant

Murphy’s Laws Peggy-Lynn Backlund

For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.

Thal's Law

Murphy’s Laws Goals Revisions

You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.

Witcoff's Truism

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Porkingham's Laws of Sportfishing

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports Fishing

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

Scott's Second Law

Ideas Intelligence Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Corrections Equations Errors

You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

Umbrella Law

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws Umbrellas

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Martin-Berthelot Principle

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Bureaucracy Committees

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Boyle’s Sixth Law

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Information

In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

Dow's Law

Murphy’s Laws People Confusion Hierarchies Organizations

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Livingston's Laws of Fat

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

The specialist learns more and more about less and less until, finally, he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more until, finally, he knows nothing about everything.

Donsen's Law

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws Generalists Knowledge Specialists

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Clark's Law

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Light

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Slick's Third Law of the Universe

Murphy’s Laws Things Dirt

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 24)

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

Design flaws travel in groups.

A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.

‘Push’ is the force exerted upon the door marked PULL.

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs – but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

The sun always shines between the visors.

For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.

You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.

You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

The specialist learns more and more about less and less until, finally, he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more until, finally, he knows nothing about everything.

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.