Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Murphy’s Laws
(Page 70)
View All Murphys Laws
The one piece that holds the whole thing together will be missing.
Russ' Law of Assembly
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
Only kings, editors, and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial "we."
Twain's Rule
Murphy’s Laws
Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
A Murphy's Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.
Shoe-Shopper’s Rule
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Shopping
Sally Hass
Shoes
Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 18
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.
Murphy's Second Law for Husbands
Husbands
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Shopping
Wives
Birthdays
Gifts
Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.
Anonymous
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Grease
Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.
Batts Second Law
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Speech
Al Batt
Public Speaking
A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).
Anonymous Murphy’s Law
Accidents
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Power tools
One and one does not necessarily make 11.
Louis's Logic
Murphy’s Laws
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
Thurber's Conclusion
Murphy’s Laws
Safety
The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
Scott Adams
(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous.
Rubin’s Law of Fishing Lines
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
(Louis D. Rubin)
Fishing
Talent in staff work or sales will recurringly be interpreted as managerial ability.
Boyle's Laws - 5
Murphy’s Laws
Ability
1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.
Bicycle Laws
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Bicycles
Weight
The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.
Sodd's Other Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Success
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Hoffer's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Behavior
Imitation
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
Douglas Adams
(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Situations
Things
The damage rarely exceeds the deductible.
Webster’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Insurance
It if smells bad and is sticky, it will eventually find its way onto your children or your shoes.
Dr. Levitan's Rule
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
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