Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 70)

View All Murphys Laws

The one piece that holds the whole thing together will be missing.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Only kings, editors, and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial "we."

Murphy’s Laws

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

One and one does not necessarily make 11.

Murphy’s Laws

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

Murphy’s Laws

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

Talent in staff work or sales will recurringly be interpreted as managerial ability.

Murphy’s Laws

1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.
2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.
3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.
4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.

Murphy’s Laws Things

The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Murphy’s Laws

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations Things

The damage rarely exceeds the deductible.

Murphy’s Laws

It if smells bad and is sticky, it will eventually find its way onto your children or your shoes.

Murphy’s Laws Situations