Subject: People » Men

This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Men People

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Things

Hedda Hopper: How do you know so much about men?

West: Baby, I went to night school.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Education Men People School

With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes; with male menopause you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Fat Men People Women

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.

Fools Intelligence Men People Women

Boys are capital fellows in their own way, among their mates but they are unwholesome companions for grown people.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Men People

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.

(1972 – ) American actress
Characteristics Men People

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Marriage Men

Women were brought up to believe that men were the answer; they weren’t… they weren’t even one of the questions.

(1946 – ) English writer
Men People Women

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Characteristics Men People Women

Women don’t respect salad eaters.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Men People Women

If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are sure to get out of it.

Men Murphy’s Laws People Problems

Men are like portable heaters that snore.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People

Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Men Sex Women

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies – 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Men People

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Sex

Men are people that have sex because they have a headache… or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Men People Sex