Subject: People (Page 115)

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you’re really strangers.

(1936 – 2017) American actress
People

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Conflict Killing People

Perhaps men should think twice before making widowhood our only path to power.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Death Men People Women

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Stupidity

Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid… well that and ‘faggot.'

American comedian
People Self

Me and Jake LaMotta grew up in the same neighborhood. You wanna know how popular Jake was? When we played hide and seek, nobody ever looked for LaMotta.

(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Boxing People Self Sports

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Intelligence People

We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is "knowing what your uterus looks like.”

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Appearance Body People Women

When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove Illinois; when I was twelve, I found them.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family Self Situations

You might be a redneck if… you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks Shopping

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

A lifelong friend is one you haven't borrowed money from yet.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Friends Money People

Joan Collins unfortunately can’t be with us tonight… she’s busy attending the birth of her next husband.

(1964 – ) English professional snooker player & television personality
People Reviews/Criticism

To know him was to like him; not to know him was to love him.

(1884 – 1947) Jewish American lyricist
Insults People

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws Women

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.

Mary Anne Evans (1819 – 1880) English novelist, journalist & translator
Communication People Speech

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

(1934 – ) comedian
England People Places

You might be a redneck if… your parents met at a family reunion.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Parents People Rednecks

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move… he’ll talk to you, I promise.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men People

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men Mothers People