Subject: People (Page 116)

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People Self TV/Movie Quotes

Although humans tend to view sex as mainly a fun recreational activity sometimes resulting in death, in nature it is a far more serious matter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
People Sex

I dress for women… I undress for men.

(1931 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing Men Sex

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn’t ordered.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
People

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.

writer, website creator
Friends Old People

I look like a mix between a Jew and a guy who would drive by in a truck and yell "Jew.”

American comedian
Appearance People Self

No man goes before his time… unless the boss leaves early.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals People Time Work

We expect them (Salvadoran officials) to work toward the elimination of human rights.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements People

My shrink told me that my happiness was stress related.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Self

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.

Girls People Wordplay

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People

To know him was to like him; not to know him was to love him.

(1884 – 1947) Jewish American lyricist
Insults People

Men are people that have sex because they have a headache… or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Men People Sex

The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Intelligence Mind Mistakes People Problems

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
People

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Women

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Laughter People Self

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
People Places