Subject: People (Page 12)

Latins for Republicans… it’s like roaches for Raid.

(1964 – ) Colombian-American actor, producer, playwright & screenwriter
Government People Politics

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America Characteristics Family Fathers People Places

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics People

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Autos Men Things

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

(1918 – 2004) radio and television comedian & talk show host
People

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they’re loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
People

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Emotions Individuals Love People

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics England People Places

The sign said "eight items or less”… so I changed my name to Les.


People Self Situations

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Intelligence People Thinking Time

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Conflict Friends Killing People

Bond smoked like Peter Lorre, drank like Humphrey Bogart, ate like Sydney Greenstreet, used up girls like Errol Flynn… then went to a steam bath and came out looking like Clark Gable.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist
Entertainment Film People

My parents are Catholic, which means that they love Jesus and liquor and I don't think there's anything more Mexican than that.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Religion

One of the best things people could do for their descendants would be to sharply limit the number of them.

(1918 - 2002) American author
People

We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs; he (Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions People

Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.

(1921 – 2006) Polish science fiction author
People

You might be a redneck if… you've ever cut your grass and found a car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Autos People Rednecks

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People