Subject: People (Page 52)

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Women

Ask any woman her age, and nine times out of ten she’ll guess wrong.

comedian
Age People Women

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Body Characteristics People

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something’s not accurate?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self

What do you give a man who has everything… penicillin.

(1910 – 1995) American comedian & actor
People

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

(1937 – ) American actor
People Self

Guys are like dogs… they keep coming back… ladies are like cats; yell at a cat one time… they’re gone.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Men People Women

You might be a redneck if… you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Science/Weather

And most men seem to think ‘mutual orgasm’ is an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Men People Sex

Flattery is telling people exactly what they think of themselves.

Characteristics People Self

Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.

Definitions People

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Men People

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public; they can learn in private; in public they have to know.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Learning Men People

Excuse my dust.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Epitaphs Self

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats People

When you have women in that situation [the military] it just creates a whole new set of dynamics which are distracting to training these men to kill or be killed.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Government Military Misspokements People Women

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Body Communication People Women Wordplay

I’m a member of the weeper sex.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops People Women

Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Friends Success

A consultant is someone you pay a hundred-dollars-an-hour to give you the same advice you ignore from your assistant.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Occupations People Work

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
People Women