Subject: People (Page 57)

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America People Situations

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost… they are added to the ages of other women.


(1499 – 1566) French noblewoman & prominent courtier
Age Old People Women

May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Friends God Old People

His [Ben Affleck's] ideal woman is a stripper with a Budweiser in each hand.

(1972 – ) American actress
Beer People Women

A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics People

I’m not a paranoid deranged millionaire; Goddammit, I’m a billionaire.

(1905 – 1976) industrialist, aviator, engineer, film producer & philanthropist
Money People Self

Figures won’t lie, but liars can figure.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist
Characteristics Facts Honesty Lies People

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People Self TV/Movie Quotes

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.

(1894 – 1972) King of the United Kingdom
America Children Family Parents People Places

Crying is the refuge of plain women, but the ruin of pretty ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance People Women

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body… like a Peanuts character.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Appearance Body People Self

My psychiatrist once said to me, “Maybe life isn't for everyone.”

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Life Self

Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift.

Men Murphy’s Laws People Things Women

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for thousands of years, you know what their musical contribution is going to be?… Riverdance.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Music People

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid… well that and ‘faggot.'

American comedian
People Self

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

Age Characteristics Friends Murphy’s Laws Situations

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People Situations

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Men People Science/Weather Women

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Government People Politicians