Subject: People (Page 91)

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age People Understanding

My girlfriend say’s that I’m afraid of commitment… well she’s not my girlfriend… more a wife.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Wives

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Animals People

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Men

You might be a redneck if… you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

Sure men were born to lie, and women, to believe them.

(1685 – 1732) English writer
Characteristics Honesty Lies Men People Women

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics England People Places

I’m not saying she’s easy, but she’s been in so many motel rooms her nickname is ‘Gideon.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex Women

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Beliefs Men People Women

I guess a drag queen’s like an oil painting: you gotta stand back from it to get the full effect.

(1954 – ) American actor & playwright
People

The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn good head waiter.

(1896 – 1972) Turkish-born Armenian business magnate
Eating Food/Drink People

It's our fault… we should have given him better parts.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Acting Government People

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government People Situations Things

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Age Children Old People

No man's credit is as good as his money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People

If people listened to themselves more often, they'd talk less.

Communication Murphy’s Laws People Speech

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Emotions Self

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Men People Women

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Insults People

You may be a redneck if… your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks

My body is a temple; unfortunately, my diet is ISIS.

American comedian
Appearance Body Self