Subject: People (Page 97)

Men – because of a tragic flaw – cannot see dirt until there is enough of it to support agriculture.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Housework Men People

Never let the bastard back into my room again… unless I need him.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
People Situations

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

(1920 – 1996) American psychologist & writer & advocate of psychedelic drugs
People Situations Women

He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.

(1819 – 1875) English priest, university professor, historian & novelist
Insults Intelligence People

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever had to scratch your sister's name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call…"

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It’s been along for years… it’s called cash.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities People Shopping Women

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Intelligence People Rednecks Television

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Conflict Killing People

When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money, fraud will result.

Money Murphy’s Laws People

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

You might be a redneck if… your the tail light covers of your car are made of red tape.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks Things

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing Men People

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
People Things

Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Friends Success

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People

Show me a woman with both feet planted firmly on the ground – and I'll show you a girl who can't get her knickers off.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Characteristics People Women

The price of purity is purists.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Characteristics People

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I called Dial-a-Prayer and they hung up on me.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
People Self

A lot of rich women seeing how small they can get their dogs.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Dogs Places Women

You might be a redneck if…… you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People