Subject: People (Page 97)

Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.

Definitions People

Women: Can't live with 'em – can't live with 'em.

People Women

Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Women

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Things

If I wanted to be with people p**sing themselves and talking rubbish, I’d have a kid.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

I got nothin’ against mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements People TV/Movie Quotes

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.


Conflict Intelligence Killing People Stupidity

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Intelligence Mind People Self

A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites; these are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.

Girls People Wordplay

Siamese Twins: First person plural.

Definitions People

A woman’s a woman until the day she dies, but a man’s only a man as long as he can.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Men People Women

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.

(1863 – 1923) French playwright
Beliefs Conflict Opinion People

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs People Religion Sex Women

Only the mediocre are always at their best.

(1882 – 1944) French novelist, essayist, diplomat & playwright
People

Go away kid, you bother me.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children People

He reminds me of the kid in fifth grade who reminded the teacher she forgot to give the homework.

writer & comedian
People School

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
People